so i'm driving to work today and i see a school bus pull over next to a soccer field.

and i think to myself

wow.

we grow up in school buses. and all of a sudden one day, they're gone forever. there's no goodbye, no farewell dance or parting shots. no one's ever sitting in their last school bus ride and thinking, this is the last fucking time i'm ever on a real school bus ride.

it's sad.

so when you have a minute, sit on the floor, take off your shoes, open a pistachio, pull your nipple, and reminisce about everything you did on a school bus. it will be the best time you've ever spent on the floor reminiscing.

i remember-

middle school trip to quebec, driving past the canada border, bus is packed with my french class classmates. some guy in the lane next to us thinks it'd be funny if he pulled out his dick and started jacking off. he thought right.

my fat, elementary school bully who would always punch the back of my seat,

cutting up and tagging names in last row of the bus,

the horrible hump which is the wheel well of the bus that intrudes way up so your legs feel like shrimps,

the whole bus singing that who stole the cookie from the cookie jar song, and when it was my turn, i'd always want to say something funny, but then never succeeding and looking like a pig,

trying to sit next to girls

trying to sit next to boys

trying to sit next to girls and boys, failing, then sitting alone

saving seats with backpacks

saving seats with my legs

mouthing conversations to friends in other buses

crumpling paper and throwing them at peoples ears

how hard it was to open the damn windows

sitting on one for an hour to and from HKIS in hong kong....



alright i'm kinda done, don't know how to end this, you bitch